


Mustering Up the Courage

by TheUltimateUndesirable



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Harry Potter, Bisexual Ron Weasley, Boys Kissing, Brothers Are a Pain, Denial of Feelings, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Constipation, Feelings, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, George Weasley Likes to Gamble, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Holidays, Jealous Ron Weasley, Jealousy, Kissing in the Snow, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Harry Potter, One Shot, POV Ron Weasley, Party, Past Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Pining, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Post-Divorce, Snogging, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, how fluffy do I tag this?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27836233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheUltimateUndesirable/pseuds/TheUltimateUndesirable
Summary: Ron's had an emotional year, and the holiday season is finally doing him in with everyone's happiness. Will it be the death of him? Maybe he shouldn't be so obvious....
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ron Weasley, Viktor Krum/George Weasley
Comments: 8
Kudos: 57
Collections: Hermione’s Nook Kissmas





	Mustering Up the Courage

**Author's Note:**

> T rated is always weird for me to write, but it was what worked for the prompt of now or never and I really enjoy it! 
> 
> I also apologize for the fluff. It got a little overwhelming there towards the end.....at least for me LOL. I hope it's not really OOC, but people grow as they age! Especially when prepared (or unprepared) anticipated things! 
> 
> Hermione's Nook is such a bad influence.....I fucking love it and you rock. Highly recommended for writers! LMAO Happy Holidays!

Ron shifted his jaw repeatedly. Uncomfortably. It wasn’t like the party was proving to be a horrible one. In fact it was actually quite normal. With the divorce though normal had a new definition he supposed. 

It was only the second Christmas since he and Hermione had split, not by much though considering they split only a month before the holiday. Bad timing really, but the holidays had helped keep moods up. His mum hadn’t taken it well, but everyone else seemed to have expected the mutual decision. 

Still it was more this year making it feel different to him . Hermione was there, but that wasn’t the problem. Everyone was there, exactly like before. The only real differences were a few people had no one with them now, or they had new dates tagging along. 

Ron was glad after almost a decade, Dean and Seamus were still throwing these Christmas parties. They had already exchanged their secret santa’s, although this year they had all agreed to keep it completely anonymous, not revealing who had who. Which was fine by him considering he had gotten Theo, and had had zero clue what to get him. The Slytherin seemed happy enough with the book at least. It wasn’t like he knew anything about Ancient Runes of South America, but it was the subject the bloke enjoyed studying based on his apprenticing. 

What was new and making him uncomfortable in the room was the way Ernie MacMillan kept talking with Harry. It was stirring up feelings, and everything he had worked hard over the years. Especially this last one being newly single it had been harder to push them down even deeper. The way they were looking at each other, sitting close, shoulders brushing…...it caused the hair on his neck to prickle. 

Trying to shake it again with another drink, he checked on Hermione and Anthony speaking with Fred, George, and Krum. They were still mostly friends after all, and making sure she at least seemed happy was ingrained into him after all this time. She was definitely happier than he had seen her since the very beginning of their relationship. Brushing the curls behind her ears like she did when bashful. Leaning into the arm wrapped around her waist covered in a typical striped red, white, and green sweater she wore for the holiday. 

Sighing, Ron looked at the happy faces around the room. Dean, Seamus, and Neville were chatting it up on one of the sofas while Pansy, Susan, Millicent, and Lisa were in a corner sharing what looked like a flask causing him to actually smile, himself. Fred sure knew how to pick a witch the way Lisa also knew how to cause some low key trouble. Another half an hour and he was certain the party would finally go to the next level. The level that would have Seamus shirtless on their counter doing only Merlin knew what. 

Ron tried not to appear sulking as he stood closer to the drinks. Pretending instead just to focus on getting drunk off his arse. Almost everyone else was attempting the task, granted while mingling and laughing. Like the ones Ernie and Harry kept sharing. It caused him to growl mostly at himself, and reach down the counter to pour another glass of firewhisky. Taking it up a notch quickly was needed if he planned to stay. 

“Oi. Quit that,” came a voice, and Ron glared seeing George walking up beside him with a smirk he knew meant trouble. “Don’t look at me like that either,” his brother said, taking his drink out of his hand and downing it. 

“What the hell! Get your own drink,” he complained, but George waved him off dismissively. 

“Are you going to quit sulking over here? It’s bothering Viktor. Git actually cares,” George said like he didn’t understand why. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ron grumbled reaching back down the counter for a new cup, and when he looked back his brother was giving him a pointed look. “What?” he asked. 

“I recommend you quit glaring at Ernie,” George said, nicking his new cup before he could even protest. “Someone might finally notice.”

Ron opened his mouth, but only stuttering came out causing the twin to laugh. Ernie wasn’t the only one he glared at. Malfoy got a fair share of them too. Even after nearly six years of being with his sister. Granted the new glares were probably due to the new engagement, and adjusting to the idea of the name Ginny Malfoy. 

George just waved him off again. “Just do something about it finally yeah? You’re ruining the mood, and I don’t want Viktor tugging on my arm with worry.” 

“It’s not my bloody fault the bloke’s so bloody sensitive,” Ron said plainly. 

“At least he actually vocalizes it versus looking like a kicked kneazle or caged dragon in the corner failing to drown his emotions with what I would assume was only a second or third, not even a quarter full, cup,” George countered. 

Ron huffed and looked away, and looked away again when his eyes went to Hermione and Anthony. At least he had had distractions all those other years. Hard to think of inappropriate things about your best mate when you had a relationship to focus on, even if it was a boring one. At least when they were both around him it was easier not to think that way. 

Straying to Harry and Ernie again, he gritted his teeth. He didn’t know why or how it had started. All those years spent together as kids. Teens. Young adults. Going through a few different relationships. His own bloody marriage. Hardly anything changed between them. 

That was a lie though. He knew enough considering how often he had tried to analyze the feelings. How he tried to rid them, and thoughts that wanted to linger in his head. 

They just spent so much time together that he couldn’t shake it. Ever. They shared so much from almost every angle in life. Harry was his constant. His rock to lean on through everything from work and fun, to different relationships they had gone through briefly. The bloke was always there and eventually he had had the nagging thought that he was all he wanted or needed in life. All he wanted was Harry. 

It was the stupid months leading up to the divorce is what it was. They, and the entire following year, had allowed him to entertain the idea more. Wish and want it more to the point he realized he was practically living at his best mates house. It had gotten so far emotionally for him without realizing that the last month he had taken to trying to distance himself completely for the sake of their friendship. 

He didn’t know how he was supposed to keep it to himself anymore the way Harry would hug him far too long on occasion, or when he simply suggested they do things together like normal best mates did. Being free of a relationship made it feel like far far more than it should. Against his will he just kept getting weaker around him cherishing the time together. It felt so good. Then a sudden pain shot through his mind, and at first he thought it was a mental slap to himself until the sharp sting registered on the back of his head. 

“God damnit George!” Ron shouted at his brother rubbing the back of his head from where he had smacked him. “Bloody hell. What in the actual fuck is wrong with you?”

“I told you to quit glaring at him,” the twin shrugged, speaking in a quieter tone. “Unless it was your goal to get attention. If so you succeeded Ronnekins.” 

George nodded his head towards Harry and Ernie to see that both blokes, and a few others, had turned to look at him. He shot an absolutely furious glare at his older brother and stormed around him for the back door. George had always had a way of getting into his head. Unlike Fred, he observed and studied far too much. 

Snatching his jacket off the rack he pushed open the wooden door for some fresh air. Breathing in the cold air deeply he appreciated the refreshing chill it brought to his lungs. He pulled his jacket even tighter. Perhaps it was time to call it a night. After all he was getting too worked up. 

He blamed George for pushing him over the edge. It wasn’t like the twin knew to what extent anything was bothering him. For all everyone knew he was just bloody moody about the holiday season, and probably bitter over Hermione and Anthony. Neither of which was true, but it was better than the alternative. People knowing how he really felt about Harry. What chaos and drama that would cause. 

In the corner of his mind he could just see his mothers face of disbelief. Malfoy and Ginny’s laughter echo-ing around the room. Hermione’s hand covering her mouth in shock while George and Fred started celebrating before anyone found their own words. Seamus would probably be along with the twins he thought. Neville would probably be with Hermione in shock, and Parkinson no doubt joining Malfoy and Ginny in laughter. 

Exhaling heavily pushing the idea of coming out to everyone from his mind, glancing up at the night sky. It was cloudy, but the stars were bright and peaking through. Dean and Seamus really had picked a lovely cottage just far enough out of London to be called the country. He enjoyed the few tall groves of trees that were gathering a dusting of snow between their neighbors as he walked towards the edge of the wards. 

There was plenty of alcohol at his own cottage. It was further out in the country where there was more peace and quiet, not to mention no one else. Getting pissed on his own sofa watching muggle telly without George nagging him or seeing Harry and Ernie flirting sounded like a much better plan for the rest of the evening. 

“Hey Ron!” Harry’s voice called behind him. He was jogging to catch up with him if the sound of his feet hitting the frosted ground had anything to say about it. 

Ron was unable to stop himself from groaning, but still he kept walking. Of course he wouldn’t be able to get away with such a loud display without some worry. While appreciated any other time he just wasn’t who he could be around right now. He felt to many stupid emotions. When the bloke reached his side he turned his head away.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked, and just like his presence he ignored him. That was until the bloke grabbed him by the shoulder forcing him to halt.

“Just go back to the party,” he said stiffly. He knew it was cold sounding, but it was the only way it could have come out. 

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong,” Harry told him stubbornly.

“Can you just go? I’m sure Ernie misses you,” Ron found himself saying as a counter argument. After saying it he rubbed his head in frustration with himself. 

“What?” Harry asked furrowing his brows causing his glasses to slide down his nose a little. 

“You two were flirting so damn much I can feel it across the bloody room,” Ron complained trying to keep the heat out of his voice, but not sure if he succeeded or not. He wasn’t exactly jealous, but he hated feeling it because it was wrong. He didn’t want it to be, but it was. 

“Ernie?” Harry said with a twisted expression like it was the dumbest idea he had ever heard. “We were just chatting and goofing off. I’m not interested in him like that. Ew Ron. Seriously. Besides, I’m pretty sure he has been sleeping with Neville and Pansy.” 

The annoyance, and anger he had felt within himself evaporated. A sickening feeling of embarrassment took its place. Suddenly the atmosphere around them shifted, and it wasn’t the light breeze that picked up blowing some small flurries into the bloke’s black hair. He didn’t like the way his skin prickled uncomfortably. 

“Oh…” he trailed off weakly. 

Thankfully the winter wind had already made his cheeks pink or his blush would have been obvious. Although now he felt incredibly cold where previously he had felt hot under the intense emotions. They were still intense, but not in a way that had him wanting to strangle people. 

“Okay then…” Ron continued thinking of an out for his dramatics. “...uh...you should still go back to the party. I think I’m just done for the night. Didn’t sleep well last night.” 

Harry kept his brows wrinkled at him, and didn’t say anything for a minute. Ron looked around uneasily debating if he should just turn and go. It was like George was beside him again studying him. 

“Since when are you so protective?” Harry said like he was thinking aloud, and then his eyebrows slowly rose as if having a realization. “Were you…..were you jealous?” the bloke asked, seeming confused. 

Ron let out a horribly awkward laugh at the question that hit the problem directly on the head. “What? No. No. Of course not. No...no…no….” and his voice gradually got weaker the more he tried to convince his best mate. 

Or maybe he was trying to convince himself, and that was why he was failing considering it was a bold face lie. Harry looked at him like he didn’t know what to believe which he didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing. There was nothing to tell him what the bloke was thinking. 

Ron licked his lips, and felt himself starting to shift on his feet, pinned under Harry’s green eyes. He even tried to advert his own, but it didn't help and he found them looking at each other again. If anything it made it worse knowing he was intensely being scanned for an explanation to his behavior. It caused him to start rubbing his fingers together in his jacket pocket as a hopeful distraction. Which failed of course. 

“I should be…” Ron began slowly.

He started to turn away, pointing back over his shoulder towards the property line. He wanted to pop into his house as soon as possible and get the hell out of the situation before something bad happened. What it was he didn’t know, but he could feel it. 

“You were…” Harry said breathlessly. Disbelivingly. Expressionless still. 

It was said in a way that caused Ron’s throat to dry out, and told him there was no arguing or changing his mind. That it was practically a proven fact. Internally he cursed himself for letting his emotions get the better of him. Harry had just been single so long, and now that he was single too it was just so hard to keep himself distanced. 

Still the emotions bubbled inside him, growing stronger now to the point he thought he was going to explode. His face first as it had to be even redder. He was being called out for jealousy. 

Maybe it wasn’t the kind he really felt though. Maybe there was a friend kind of jealousy Harry was thinking of. Although a friend wouldn’t be jealous about who their best mate was flirting with. Yes that was definitely something best mates definitely didn’t feel. Loathing and general hatred for a person sure. He could play it off as loathing, if it wasn’t for their long history of hanging out together without any issues. 

Ron forced himself to swallow thickly hoping for some physical relief at least. The longer they maintained eye contact the quicker his breathing was growing. It felt like he was completely exposed, and he was going to do the wrong thing no matter what he did. He wasn’t sure if it was a panic attack or not, but regardless he was starting to feel like he was splitting in half and was going to bust out of his skin. 

There were two things fighting inside his head leaving him unblinking as he tried desperately to stuff the one far into the back with an incaserous. The one that felt like the longer they looked at each other without words, the more intense things were growing, and the more of an opportunity it became. An opportunity to either satisfy the feelings that were wrapped around every nerve ending in his body, or one to destroy the only thing he relied on completely in his life. 

The redhead cursed George. He cursed Ernie. He cursed himself. Especially as Harry started raking over his entire face looking for something that terrified him. Something he knew the bloke would find. This was it. It was now or never.

Without thinking any further, in one swift movement Ron took the step between them. He stupidly took the step between them, wrapped a hand around the back of Harry’s head, and pulled him close until their lips were actually pressed together. Until he was actually kissing him, and all the cold melted away from his body. It was a horrible thing. It was an absolutely horrible thing to do, but it was the best thing he had ever imagined too. 

Their lips molded together naturally without adjustment as if they had always meant to be there. Ron inhaled Harry’s cologne up close, and savoured the entire feeling by wrapping his other hand around the bloke’s neck also. He pulled him even closer gently, seeing how well their lips started moving together like far too many of his dreams had thought they would. The result was better than his dreams. 

Despite the cold air, the wetness of their lips sliding together slowly at first was scorching. He sucked on Harry's lips deeply, nibbling on the lower one as his best mate opened his mouth for him. Over and over again he started kissing him softer. Wider. Slower. Just trying to see if the chill could bring the moment back into reality. 

It didn’t. It only dragged him further into the heat and warmth of his mouth. His tongue seeking refuge in it as Harry’s own moved with his. Or maybe it was the desire for more. To taste more of the bloke as he caressed him unknowingly. Dipping in and enjoying the flavor until his entire face was hot with steady steam from their breath, arousal pooling in his lower body. 

Then the jolt of electricity that was Harry’s hands under his shirt, skating the smooth skin above the waistband of his trousers, caused him to unlatch himself from the bloke’s lower lip he had been sucking on. Complete shock and disbelief in himself froze him in place, and he stared into Harry’s blown pupils that were still only inches from his own. His heart rate sky rocketed feeling his thumbs hook into the band of his denims lazily, and just hang there. 

“You kissed me,” Harry stated simply, breaking the silence. Blinking as if he was working on getting his head around the fact they had just been snogging. 

“Yea...uh yea I guess I did didn’t I?” he tried to laugh hoping he could take it back, and make a joke out of it. “You said I was jealous didn’t you?” 

“Honestly I thought it was just in my head,” Harry admitted, smoothing a hand over his hip causing him to shiver involuntarily.

“Bollocks….” Ron muttered to himself trying not to get lost in the wonderful shiver, and desire for more. “Thought I’d done a decent job at hiding it. All these years I figured I’d have enough practice to be able to handle it single. Buggered it up...” 

Harry’s jaw fell before him. “Years!?” he interrupted. 

Ron squeezed his eyes shut, and let his head fall back in annoyed defeat. “Bloody hell….outted myself pretty good just now didn’t I?” he said defeatedly. 

Blinking rapidly the bloke let his hands drop away from his lower body, and Ron realized he was still holding on to Harry’s neck. Quickly he let go from the intimacy, instantly regretting everything and the loss of his touch. He didn’t have to feel it for long though.

Out of nowhere Harry started interlacing their fingers, and Ron looked at them in fascination. 

“Want to go back to the party now that that’s solved?” he asked with a smile as if nothing had changed. As if nothing had happened or was said, and they weren’t holding hands. 

“Even after that? Like this?” the redhead asked, gesturing down to their shockingly joined hands. 

“We can date whoever we bloody well please…,” Harry said carelessly with a roll of his eyes. “...in case Ginny and Draco didn’t get that through to you. Which I'm not sure how they couldn't with the fuss you made.” 

“Dating?” Ron repeated, his mind instantly stuck on the word. Sure he had thought about being with Harry, but for some reason hearing it come from Harry was something else. 

The bloke bit his lips together looking slightly embarrassed at his own thoughtless bold move. “I uh….I mean if you want to that is,” he said like he needed to correct himself for the assumption. 

“Are you serious?” Ron asked, making sure Harry truly understood the situation because he didn’t understand how he could be so accepting. “We’re best mates. Isn’t this weird?”

Harry didn’t answer right away, and instead squeezed his hand almost reassuringly. “I might owe George a few galleons….” he said randomly. 

Ron furrowed his own brows and looked at him in confusion. It was both avoiding the question and completely confusing. Harry huffed at him lightly. 

“What?” he asked, and even through the cold bite of color on his cheek bones Ron could detect an even deeper red of a blush under it. 

“We were talking about shit over some of that elf wine on his birthday one time, he said he was certain you were pining over me, and I told him he was completely mental. I was certain you were only into witches. Still it got in my head, and well….” Harry trailed off rubbing his hand with his thumb testingly. “I can’t say I never…. thought about it. I just didn’t want to make things weird.”

The redhead scoffed playfully with a sudden smile. “Like me randomly snogging you wouldn’t make things….,” then his sentence died out registering what his best mate had said. “Wait, when the hell did you all gamble over my bloody feelings?” 

“Do you really want to know?” Harry asked scrunching up his nose that made him question if he truly did. Still he nodded. 

“Maybe five years ago?” Harry said thoughtfully. “Four?”

“Bloody hell four….” Ron started shaking his head. “...wow…...I really did do a shite job didn’t I?” He felt like a right prat about being so obvious. At least it had only been George, granted Harry knew but just hadn’t believed it. Maybe Hermione really had known if George had….

“Well it’s not our fault you wear your bloody emotions on your face even if you don’t talk about them,” Harry laughed at him. 

“How much do you owe him?” Ron asked curiously as they casually started walking back to Dean and Seamus’s hand in hand like it was completely normal. Not thinking anymore about it. 

“Not sure,” Harry admitted. “We started with ten galleons, but agreed on a three percent interest rate. If nothing happened by the time we were thirty I won by default.” 

“You two are gits. You know that right?” he stated rehtorically, and disapprovingly. Mostly they were, or at least partly. Actually it was a bit entertaining imagining them sitting at the shop counter passing galleons back and forth over random things like if their best mate was in love with them. George hadn’t been dating Krum back then, and he and Angelina were close friends. 

“I won either way,” Harry smirked at him from the side before leaning down, and lifting their hands up to place a kiss on it. 

The action caused Ron’s smile to fade as he came to a stand still due to the way his heart fluttered. It all was a bloody dream….it had to be. Harry wasn’t going to walk hand in hand with him like it was fucking normal, and kiss him in such a randomly sweet way. 

“I love you Harry,” Ron said flatly, unbothered by the admittance now just completely mind blown. “Like….I actually love you. Love. It’s not a joke,” he explained trying to make sure he got the picture. Sometimes they both could be oblivious and daft.

“I know?” Harry said uncertainty as they stopped, worry shown by the way he ran his hand through always messy hair, brushing out the gathered snow. A soothing habit he had never been able to kick when he was stressed. “Based on that snog I’d hope not anyways....” he said sheepishly, looking back to where they had been standing previously. 

“And you’re just….okay with that?” Ron asked further, blinking rapidly for a few seconds.

“Ron…” he sighed heavily, scratching behind his ear. “I wasn’t going to make a move on my assumed straight best mate. The best relationships are built off friendship, but I wasn’t going to go fucking ours up over some secret pining. I love you too much. It wasn’t worth the risk.” 

Ron smiled like a fool unable to stop himself at his words, and Harry tugged on his arm with his own smile when he did. It was just like Krum did to George all the time, and how Pansy did to Neville. It warmed his heart in a way he only felt when they sat close together on the sofa. Even if he woke up tomorrow, and it was all a bloody dream he would never get that or what he said out of his head. 

Maybe he would use it to finally make a decision on if he was going to do anything about his feelings or not. Until he realized he didn’t have to when he entered the cottage again. George was waiting behind the door and instantly slapped him on the back with a bit too much enthusiasm from how much alcohol he had been drinking. Thanking him shamelessly for finally mustering up the courage so he could get his galleons, seeming extra proud for his calling it. Especially as he announced the fact he had. 

Everyone was looking at them then in all the expressions he had feared, but Harry held onto his hand tightly, painfully, and moved closer until they were shoulder to shoulder like a wall ready for the reactions. It caused George to laugh along with Draco and Ginny probably for a different reason, digging his nails into his shoulder to hold himself steady. The pain made sure he knew it was real. Despite his blush he found himself wanting to smile, but he bit it back, instead choosing to squeeze Harry’s in return. 


End file.
